Comrade Bernie, will the breadlines be gluten-free when you become President? Comrade Bernie, will the reeducation camps have zip lines when you become President? Comrade Bernie, will we all live in houses like yours, or will you live in a house like ours when you become President? Comrade Bernie, will our deodorant option be roll-on, spray or stick when you become President? Comrade Bernie, will the tuition-free colleges offer majors other than gender studies when you become President?